Usually when a fight is on, it's 'may the best man win.' In a custody battle, unfortunately, it's 'may the best parent win.' It should be 'may the little guy win.' That's right, defenseless, voiceless children are usually the ones who lose in a custody battle. Divorce proceedings should never become a competition between parents as to who is the best, but should always be about how they will parent the child now that they are no longer together. The legal system is not broke - the people who run it are. That's why I have started this blog - so that I can be a voice for the ones who have no defense. Join me in my crusade to stamp out legalized child abuse in the form of parental abuse of the legal system. I wonder how far we can go with this?
It is sad to me that the ones who suffer most - who stand to lose the most in a custody battle - are vulnerable children; and yet, they receive the least amount of care and legal protection for no other reason than the way the legal system is set up. The "best interest" doctrine is generally worthless when you have a wide disparity in the socioeconomic status of one parent versus another. In fact, I am guessing that the majority of custody suits are won based on who runs out of money first rather than what is best for the child. Sorry lawyers, but you seem to be the only ones who really profit from a custody suit.
I'll probably step on a lot of toes here, though I try not to purposely offend anyone, but I will also shoot from the hip and call it as I see it. Children are always the losers in a custody battle because, one way or another, they will come away minus two full-time parents. One will be the parent, and the other will usually be reduced to the status of 'babysitter' or 'fun uncle' who picks them up to do fun stuff. That will be true even in an amicable divorce, but if either parent is angry or vindicive and won't let the animosity go, even years later, well, here you have a recipe for enough emotional scarring to last a kid a lifetime.
Our great Family Code, which is designed with the right idea in mind, is put into practice by fallible attorneys and judges, not all of whom have scruples, frankly. When winning a legal battle becomes more important than if junior cries himself to sleep tonight because he misses his mommy, or when daddy can't see him except with a case worker present... there's got to be a better way.
There are mother's rights groups, father's rights groups - even a few children's rights groups, but I am not aware of even one group that addresses the legal rights of children in divorce/custody proceedings. In reality, children have no inherent defined legal rights in a custody proceeding that are specifically stated in the Texas Family Code. Their rights fall under the subcategory of the rights and responsibilities of the parents. The only quasi-right a child has is to the appointment of an attorney ad litem or an amicus. The ad litem is a great concept in theory, but in reality, they are generally only used in a CPS custody case and not in divorce. The purpose of an amicus is to help the court decide what is best for the child, not to represent the child's legal rights. My experience has been that they are more like a mediator between the parents and less like an advocate for the child. They don't argue for the child; they don't appeal on behalf of the child if they believe the trial court has erred; so, what do they really accomplish? Who do they really serve? They often turn out to be glorified social workers, and highly paid ones at that.
I am posing a challenge to anybody out there who will take up this cause. Let's work to change the way the Texas Family Code is applied. I know there are many folks out there who have been burned and have become disillusioned with the Family Court system. Perhaps, like me, you've spent countless hours and dollars trying to get justice only to find out you were several thousand dollars short.
I'm all for a different approach. Let's be a force for change. Speak out! Submit your articles, poems, inspirational stories, and ideas. The next kid you protect is someone's grandkid, niece, nephew, son or daughter. Protect them like you would protect your own.
For Free Speech,
Anna
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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1 comments:
beware of war-mongering female lawyers. those who sort of look successful because their resumes are full of high flying bs but in reality they are just wall flowers, always good but never good enough girls who think that prostituting the legal system to a bunch of impotent men makes them all what they never amounted to be--women. a female lawyer acting on behalf of a usually more well off male client is just a putrid waste of oxygen. how could a woman try to take a child from another woman. why? oh yes, money. and feeling that she finally got even with all the girls she was envious of.
really i can't think of a better way to stop my ex's madness other than praying to God that a tree falls on him while he drives his goddamn BMW or walks into his fiance cheating on him with a better hung man. i know i am pathetic to find comfort in such thoughts but this is what a legal system reduces a well-educated and strong woman to. a pile of breathing and sort of functioning rubble. mentioning names of lawyers, of judges, of actual people should get the party started. they should be become of being exposed on this blog for using legal system and emotional well being of our children to feed their hunger for money or desperate need for acceptance.
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